Yaletown is known for its Yuppies!

Cactus Club is known for its Signature dishes…or not.

Sunday night at Yaletown’s CC location was odd from the start.  Upon entering the alleyway, I noticed no entry way from the patio seating area to the indoors.  This may be common for downtown Vancouver, but not Yaletown, as most restaurants allow entry through the patio area into the restaurant.  Upon finding a sign which stated entry was from Davie St. my friend and I entered and were seated at once since we had made a reservation.  Oddly, no mention of an option of seating in the patio area was mentioned on the phone.   Is it summer or what?  I noted that there were a few tables open in the patio area beforehand and asked the hostess if we had a chance to take in the small amount of vitamin D us Vancouverites try to consume in various ways.  She exclaimed that there were 3 people on the waiting list before me, and “no, we do not take reservations.”  She was trying to seat us in the last booth next to the kitchen until I to move forward (she placed us one booth ahead!).   Understandable patio situation, until we sat down.   The lights were dimmed, music was loud almost directly above to my left were 4 speakers blaring, along with dark black columns and black shades covering the windows against Davie St.  It was so claustrophobic and dark, dreary that I honestly felt like I was inside a coffin. 

I decided against having wine since earlier that afternoon I had treated myself to a nice glass of chilled ‘Barefoot 2007 Award winning Chardonnay.’  The week before we had served another award winner by Marcus James, only it was a bold Merlot.  Sadly, both instances resulted in a bloated stomach along with aches and pains and a mild foggy headache.  I don’t think you as a reader have to be told all the in’s and out’s of today’s wine makings, however you should know that they add sulfites up to 30ppm which actually may cause not only these symptoms above, but even more serious and deadly allergic reactions.  The liquor stores all claim that if one wants nothing added, then one has to buy organic wines!  What has happened to this country?  The mighty dollar wins again as capitalistic ideals from the USA are filtering their way through Canada.  Anyone noticed the extreme amounts of sugar and salt in ALL our foods?  ie. salt in coke, juice, HD ice cream.  I actually emailed HD people and they told me that consumers request this salt content.  I asked the large grocery stores about this and they exclaimed that the companies can sell more of their products b.c they have an EVEN LONGER shelf life.  Really?  I think its disgusting and disturbing that our foods are becoming more and more unhealthy and fake.  When was the last time you saw real butter (not lard, veggie oils), eggs (not eggs reconstituted or parts of) and milk (not milk solids) in pastry? 

I digress…

After reading the menus, I ordered for a third time a “bowl” which in this case was Jambalaya and also a Signature Dish.  I always order it (well for the last 3 times I have gone to CC).  Unfortunately, my friend also ordered the same being it was his first experience with this restaurant and this dish was an embarrassment for me to say the least! I had picked the restaurant, but it was my first time at this location.  Unfortunately, the baby shrimp were an ”o” shape, for “overcooked” and yet they were translucent and slimy?  I ate a few to set my imagination to ease, but my friend conferred as well.  The sausage in the meal was not of the chorizo kind, but a cheap imitation kind and unfortunately even the sauce had drenched the few vegetables beyond recognition.  I mentioned the shrimp issue to server by stating: “how do you prepare and cook the shrimp in this dish?”  After a brief explanation and offer to replace both dishes, recook the shrimp or one free dessert/appetizer (mind you, both of our dishes had this issue), this ended up going straight to the manager who did not identify herself after approaching us.  We decided to use the dessert card (although replacing the dishes would have been smarter, I ended up eating around the shrimp while my male friend ate it all since he felt they convinced him it was pre-cooked) . Of course yet again, some men can’t see past their stomach while they don’t fight for the honor of their female friends…whilst fibbing and telling me that he had left all but two shrimp he had not eaten in protest). Actually it worked out for the restaurant, one $ 11.50 dessert in place of  two $15.50 meals is called business acumen!

I do have to say that while their desserts are not a chump change, they are of higher quality and seemingly fresh–we ordered the Dessert Trio. Lovely Unfortunately, the slimy shrimp unsettled my stomach till morning.

Oh the struggle continues to find a decent dining experience!!

Oh this is a good one.  I felt it in my bones the minute I walked in.  Wait, did I say good?  What I really meant was shi!!!!.  Ok I am not new to noodle houses, and the steamier the better and more traditional, but this place on Lonsdale Avenue in North Vancouver was a disaster area! 

Given the signage and the fact that its known to be a “cheap eats” kinda place, that is no excuse for what one walks into. 

Notes:

1. I walk in –the main door doesn’t open, so I check for alternate entry. 

2. Upon entry, a waft of noodle smell and humidity hangs in the air with a touch of senior home smell (I try to ignore that most customers are seniors, and while I love seniors and working with them, I cannot handle this type of eatery)

3. My Uncle and I remain stunned but gracious as we note the high air conditioning which blows upon our heads whilst mixed in with noodle steam.

4. All the while I keep trying to escape the AC but get distracted from the radio playing in the background and 2 TV’s on high volume.  Feels like a schizophrenic attack–although I  have never had it so I can’t claim to really know it.

5. We order our food –this place boasts its noodles (obviously), japanese, vietnamese and chinese food choices…I opt for Japanese (don’t ask me why). I request 3 times to make sure that I get sweet and sour chicken (not pork).  I don’t get it. I also don’t get the server–she never returns to check to see if  I want anything more, or want a top off of my green tea, water etc. or to ask how our meals are.   I request regular tea for my Uncle and again the server (oddly ignorant and stubborn) repeats it twice but continues to serve him green tea.  I ask about it and she claims it is.  I tell her he wanted black tea…she keeps nodding…and so it goes on till he gives in (kind of like I did with the sweet and sour PORK which I didn’t want). 

6. I cannot wait to leave.  In fact I asked myself, do I really want to stay?  Well….we couldn’t decide where to go and I had never tried this place which had been in business for a few years (use to be “Cazba” persian restaurant–ahhh good memories come floating back

7. That was my first and last time at this joint.  Too smelly, steamy, cold, ignorant and stubborn for my taste.  Food was greasy and tasteless. We order Bento boxes which had half jap and half chinese food in them..confusing as heck but it seemed ok.

The End.

Bard on the Beach –popcorn (crunchy and yummy like apples)

Ok, so I know that traditionally the idea of “gourmet” refers to a dish which is made with utmost care and uses fresh ingredients which are somewhat pricey and harder to find.  This blog will generally be the opposite of that as you have seen the places I have gone and eaten.  However, in my defence popcorn has its own “gourmet” and such was this experience at Bard on the Beach when I went to see The Tempest after waiting 14 years to go with a special someone!  Well, there was no special anyone as no one I know likes Shakespeare—I kinda ended up having a date though! A very special and caring elderly Japanese woman took the lead and became my friend and consultant for Bard events and business ideas ;o)  Upon waiting for the intermission, I realized I was not really hungry however I needed a little bite and also wanted to share after tasting a lovely Japanese green tea Keiko offered me.  I chose gourmet butterscotch popcorn–it actually was heavenly.  Not too sweet, not too salty but very tasty indeed.  I found it was crunchy but yet would give way to my tongue if I wanted to melt it in my mouth and prevent my neighbours from hearing the constant nibbling.  Keiko enjoyed it as well as it turned out to be the snack after her picnic meal which she normally liked to do by arriving 2 hours early to get great seats (and that she did–we were front row!).  For $3 it is a nice treat but a little expensive as one can find that the popcorn is homeade and comes in a small bag (just enough for one or two people).  I quite enjoyed the Bard and opted to meet my friend and her daughter a PR Specialist the following week at Twelfth Night where I enjoyed another one of these bard bites and heard some more business ideas (Mobile TCM and Wellness Services) on facebook which was awesome!! 

still lookin’ for a great nosh! 

Restaurant Franchise Review: Milestones by English Bay

Dear Franchisees, WATCH OUT!

Here’s another classic restaurant giving you the ultimate flavour of BORRRRRRRRRRRING AND FRUSSSSSSSSSSTRATTTTIONNNNN at your every dining and alcohol binging experience.  I urge you, do not make this mistake.  Learn from my experience (unfortunately).  When are we gonna get something fresh and tasty and finally worth our money?

So its my second time visiting this lovely establishment. Don’t ask why I went there a second time when I knew good and well it would be a waste of time.  Our group leader tried I guess–no deck seat this time as we are too huge of a group, but thankfully great and convenient location for car-free day.  I rode my bike–yes I did!  The first time I go to this place was on Mother’s Day Brunch after excellent service but terrible food and lukewarm 1/4 cup filled lattes for $4.00.  This particular morning is brunch yet again, with a more expansive menu!  I walk over to our group’s table and see a booth filled to the max and two “high chairs” (bar chairs) at the edge.  I get a flash-forward (what’s to come)…eating upright with plate in hand or possibly wayyyy bent over to get the the plate on table.

I go to the next booth to find the same situation only I realize I will be seated on the high chair and possibly looking like an infant during my stooped meal.  I find two servers–one of which immediately helps me out by my request, after I have been standing there for 10 min’s without a chair.  I hop on and feel totally out of place.  Request water 3 x’s and wait finally for a menu. Service is slowly getting better. I find the server taking my order and to my surprise I have other people’s food in my plate–pieces of prime rib hash from the last order which was in the skillet before mine–and the taste! uhhh! I am a new vegetarian for God’s sake.  The mere taste, smell and look of meat makes me barf!

I look over to the other booth and find that the meals arrive 1 hour after they ordered–come on people, this is BRUNCH!! how hard can a poached egg on toast be?  One girl doesn’t get her meal until all 15 people are served and have eaten (remember there are two booths).  She doesn’t get to pay–lucky girl.

My meal is very tasty but plate always looks empty–baguette french toast with mango coulis, agave syrup and lime zest –tasty and scrumptious–but a little smelly from the eggs they use which are not free range.  Oh well, they’ll learn one day.

It’s over, but oh wait, let’s wait another 45 minutes for our bill and huge mistake on the server’s part…mixing up charges.  Luckily I paid cash–but no receipt.  She fixed the problem which I appreciated and that was thanks to my 15% tip…I don’t know but when are we going to realize that tipping should not replace wages and benefits?  Why the ##%!@ are we supposed to pay for wages as customers?   Food is so expensive! $14.00 for a piece of fancy bread?  Bless her heart, our server tried…but its really not her fault now is it?

Let’s clean up your act Franchisees, and wake up to realize that you cannot and should not treat people as cattle and expect them to put up with this by using them for their hard earned cash or plastic!  When are we really going to get what we pay for and when are you going to act like a restaurant and not a franchise or franchisee and give up a great expansive menu, great service and clean and tasty plates? come on–this is no mcdonalds.

Coffee Review: Starbucks – solar system

[[ENTER WORLD DOMINATION MUSIC]]

Dear Coffee Snobs, You Suck:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!! I love this line from “Friends” where Chandler’s ex-ex-ex girfriend always exclaims this upon seeing him and his friends.   BOY they are everywhere aren’t they–I mean Starbucks.

Yes, I feel this way too, when I see another Starbucks.  I feel this way even more when I see another dope walking in for their daily “fix” like they have to have their Venti, Extra hot, half skim, no foam, hazelnut vanilla latte with a dash of cinnamon.  Only, this feeling is in a bad way and I am definitely not surprised in the least. Yes, I am a hypocrite though.  I do (sort of) love my Starbucks.  I totally appreciated them as a SAFE HOUSE at 5am, on my 48 hours awake and homeless escapade in NY.  Long story short, my hotel made a mistake, I got pissed and went stubborn crazy on them, I wouldn’t leave, they called the cops, I got kicked out for the first time (never had the cops called on me, but I sort of wanted to see what it was like in NY–they basically don’t give a !@$ shi! unless you are gun fight, robbery or whatever–and found out all hotels in the block were booked solid).

Anyway, the only times I can’t “stands” or “hates” them Starbucks is when me and my homies buy their $5.95 sandwhiches which are wayyy too expensive and find that they are not only full of nothing but also tons of chemicals (read the long label).   I also can’t stand that customers are faced with extraordinary prices for liquids.  Was there a day when you thought you would be paying an average of $4 dollars for a cup of hot liquid?  I love my lattes, but this is ridiculous. 

Recently, I have stopped going to Starbucks. Too many, too many and oh yeah, too many of them.  I find their latte and cap’s are in general a joke for a coffee drinker as they have no jolt to them.  The dilute the drink so much that you feel you are drinking heated milk. I learned after too many mistakes and waste of money that I need to ask for “long drip” which means, more flavour and no added cost of asking for an extra shot.  

Now I have heard they are laying off workers!?  Did we get overconfident, arrogant and exuberant…huh? Oh boy Starbucks, you got us all hooked on coffee cause they are like a drug (in fact are a cigarette giant)!  And yes, did we all not realize by now that coffee is not good for us–so why bother? I am not talking about what the news says on/off about them.  I am talking about how you know caffeine works, how we feel and what happens to us: a short jolt followed by a long crash and blues, palpitations of the heart, quick enema or diahrrea, acid reflux or burning, etc. etc. etc.  I don’t know about you, but I do love the smell and flavour.  One person actually said to me, “it taste’s bitter,” and I agreed, but I stil love my coffee. I don’t get hooked on it as a daily habit though. 

Don’t drink dope, spread some hope and join the fresh veggie juice squad!  My family knows me for the funny gal I am..I never leave the house with my hand empty–there’s always a cup of something in it.  BTW, don’t drink veggie juice in traffic as its a natural diuretic (makes you go pee).

I now frequent other spots like Cafe Artiggiano, Blenz or make my own cheap cuppa Joe at home just the way I liiiiiike it. I love my own recipes too!

Breakfast Review: The Elbow Room Cafe -vancouver, bc

Dear TAO (Read Tight Ass Owners):

Sure it may be easy to laugh away, be stunned at the “hilarious” spit crazy comments–but at what cost? As the say, it’s all fun and games till someone forgets the menu and overcharges you.  This place is known for its “abuse of customers” –bad jokes, cracks, shallow commentary, swearing/cussing, loud noises, overcharging -$1 for butter on the side, quirky rude comments….well, now its the customer’s time to abuse the owners!!

Here’s a review from your former customers:

1. No !@# avocado on my lukewarm THELMA benny. I’m vegetarian….and, where’s the f*!@ FETA?

2. No, I did not for the 10th time order juice or a drink which is where I know you and the cheap0-with-flair restaurants make money. Mhhhmmm, $2.75 for black coffee is a rip off. For twenty cents more I could get a nice latte.

3. Yes, my friends had ordered tea for $1.75 which took 40min’s to arrive–> but not the crappy tasting Bigelow–we expected Tazo, Numi, Twinings for that.

4. $!@*& NO!!! you pain’s in the a$$, we got our order almost 1 hour late, lukewarm and my buddy’s french toast was burnt and strawberry topping was half frozen/cold and so disgusting he couldn’t eat it. For $11 piece of bread, the least you can do is provide fresh fruit –dipwads! He ate jam.

5. Our &!@# bill was written by some lunatic ogre who cannot write or read. What was that–swedish, finnish, retard? And why charge us for things we cannot read or have ordered? juice, fruit etc.

6. We paid 15% tip still for the fact that we finally got something to eat, even though it was shi&!^^@(!!

I wasn’t about to complain in front of my friends and ruin the morning that awaited us. The first sunny day in 1 week.